Growing Pains

I find that my desire to grow requires change--but I hate change.

I find that my desire for more wisdom requires trials--but I hate trials.

I find that my desire for greater degrees of holiness requires time--but I hate waiting.

The spiritual growth we desire as followers of Christ is not something we reach out for in vain. It is something which the Scriptures show to be part of God's will for our lives in Him. It is His will to sanctify His people. But that doesn't mean He does it overnight, and it doesn't mean He does it without messing with things (with which He is completely allowed to mess).

Looking back at the various changes that have occurred in my life leading me to where I am today, I can see--though only in part--how God used those changes to shape me and mold me in a progressive fashion toward a perfect reflection of His Son. And though I believe that Scripture does not teach perfectionism, I do believe that the Holy Spirit's work, which begins with the conviction He brings, continues on as long as we live.

Yet, I must remember that much of the work God does in His children is established in the valleys. In the seasons of life where we know we live in a way that effectively makes our "Christianity" a facade for fleshly desires. In the times when, though we do live more like Christ by His grace, life is still filled with pain. In the tears of our spouse, our children, our friends. God works at all times. But it's harder to acknowledge in the worst of times.

May we be hopeful in the promises of our faithful God who, in His perfect wisdom, often strengthens His people through the change--not in the absence of it.

Steps Established

"The heart of man plans his way,but the Lord establishes his steps."

The reality of Proverbs 16:9 hits me again and again. Throughout my undergraduate studies, I continued to face new situations that required a renewed sense of trust in the sovereign God I serve. But trust is a tricky thing. By that I mean...it's really, really hard. My pride and desire to have control always get in the way and prevent me from simply resting in the fact that God establishes my steps.

In three months, I will be heading south to begin studies at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. For the first time in my life, I am moving away from home. I commuted during all four and a half years of college, and I saw my childhood friends just about every week. I've never felt a sustained sense of...lostness. (Unless you count the mornings when I wake up forgetting what day we're in.) I've known nothing but home. I've been comfortable.

Therein lies the problem.

Don't misunderstand me. I am not moving primarily to "get away" and force myself into the unknown. I do sense a call to serve in church ministry of some kind so I believe seminary is the next best step for me. Yet, I am also aware that comfort can be an idol--and often is. When I make decisions (or don't make them) based strictly on whether or not I will remain comfortable, I have raised that feeling on a pedestal it is not worthy of having.

Leaving will be uncomfortable. I am counting on it. I'm not dreading it, but that's probably because it's still three months away. (Ask me, mid-April.) Change has always been uncomfortable for me. But I don't think it would be out of line to say that God has worked a significant portion of my growth through and in the change. For that reason, I eagerly await what lies ahead.

If you would like to stay up-to-date on my experiences "down south," read of the (hard) lessons I'm expecting to learn, and see how worthy our God is through what He does in my life, I invite you to subscribe to See How Worthy for weekly updates.

Soli Deo Gloria